How it all began...
Now, I must say that my legs are really quite exquisite, including my butt and hips. I don’t know how that happened; I am not particularly athletic (I only do a little bike-riding and running), do not have particularly Schwarzenegger-like muscles, and am not especially masculine – all characteristics quite beneficial for a transvestite. Many men with whom I have become acquainted who wear pantyhose actually cannot successfully carry off the look, due to thick calves, knobby knees, strong thighs, potbellies, etc.; the monstrosities are legion. I also admit that I don’t go barefoot in Bermuda (chuckle!), but that makes everyone look stupid. What I have experienced so far with gay men who have considered me one of them has convinced me that I am actually heterosexual (i.e., quite normal apart from being a transvestite) and that I actually prefer being dressed this way with a woman who is wearing a similar outfit. Thus, at the end of the day, there are only a handful of men with whom I have been intimate, so I also wearily deny any assessment of bisexuality. I say again: I am not gay per se, but with the help of nylon and other typical feminine extras, I also have sex with men, although they must be equally feminine.
What satisfies me most is satisfying others and you can imagine what a great feeling it is to be one of those with heavenly bodies, how valued you feel when you are desired, and what a turn-on it is when you are aware that you create the most powerful lust in others. That indeed excites me very much and makes me want to do almost anything to please my partner in order to make it good for him. The resonance of this lifestyle with women, however, is not exactly as great as it is with men. I have become acquainted mostly with women who do not necessarily want a continuing relationship.
It is always a peculiar thing when a man wants to look like a woman.
As far as I’m concerned, I feel this way about my legs.
It is not that I have examined myself from head to toe and merely said, I am what I am; my self-awareness has come about more gradually. And neither am I one to draw attention to myself: look at me! My compulsion is tied to a strong attraction to nylon. I cannot explain this attraction any more than others can explain why they love gummy bears; it is its own reward (and it doesn’t make you fat). I am also not fond of fashion. Rather, as a 10-year-old I was secretly drawn to my mother’s hosiery; I cannot say why. I have come to the conclusion that there is absolutely no physical or physiological basis for it. Rather, the cause must be the same as when children play with matches: first, it’s forbidden and, second, the effect is breathtaking. Moreover, children often like to dress in their parents’ clothing, but it is obviously most often girls who plunder their mothers’ wardrobes. By no means did I grow up with the compulsion to be a girl and indeed I am otherwise completely normal. Even so, for me this activity was sufficient to automatically generate an orgasm. From then on, my sexual (self-) gratification has been associated with pantyhose and stockings, though not with high heels or other lingerie. No, it was simply a nylon fixation and I had always had an eye for female extremities – particularly, the lower extremities; and slipping on nylons often compensated for the lack of female material – I simulated the woman myself. I cannot accurately date when this activity began, but it was during the early 1990s. And the Internet has been a great help.
At first, I didn’t know whether I was alone in my addiction and, therefore, perverse. I could imagine that there were other men who wore pantyhose, but there was no medium by which I could communicate with them.
As a result, I had been able to find scarcely anyone else like me. You certainly can’t suddenly come out with something like that in front of your friends. It is also like a physical abnormality; it feels like a natural part of you, but you are always aware that it is a trait that others do not share. Over the years I have met many people (admittedly, mostly men) over the Internet who indulge in the same obsession and who have helped me in my outings. (“Outing” belongs in quotation marks – I have never given a press statement or sent my parents a telegram: AM TRANSVESTITE – stop – WEAR PANTYHOSE – stop.) No, the contacts developed gradually and only because I photographed myself (which I was always able to do very well) and practically made an advertisement for myself – what an undreamt-of echo it has caused!
Initially, I thought that the men to whom I sent my photographs were either nutcases or horny rams, unpredictable, antisocial, or rejected by real women because they were either ugly, stupid, or both. But since then I have become better educated: I fill a market gap! Amazing, eh? That takes some getting used to. It’s not unusual for men to be attracted to beautiful legs (as I know from my own tastes and I am in full agreement), but to beautiful legs on other men?
You generally don't find women who have these interests at all, but even when I do, I don’t require that they love me; for me it is mainly bout the erotic and not about a permanent relationship, just as my contact with men is not about the men themselves as such, but rather purely about sex; merely the circumstances under which everything takes place is exciting enough. When I met my wife, I had not gone as far with this activity as I have today; otherwise, it all may never have happened. But she is a treasure, even though she does not share my passion for nylon. I have been with her only a few times in pantyhose, but she only found it nonsensical, ridiculous, and disturbing; in short, we have found no common denominator in that regard. She is not the type of wife who entertains such ideas. She accepts it, but dresses herself fashionably, though not superficially and not provocatively sexy. To have her know about my acquaintances would be disastrous. It is a bridge too far. My obsession does not affect our love; although it is not a shared interest, it serves as an enhancement to our relationship that liberates me and frees me up to enjoy my sexual relationship with my wife, which is very satisfactory. It is also not true that I have contact with other men every day (and with women I have almost none at all) – that happens about once every six months and I have to be the one to orchestrate it.
In short, it’s not as ideal as it could be. A few years ago, I became acquainted with a woman with whom things were about as good as they can get: Sex and photography, both at the same time. However, she could not separate her heart from our relationship, so we parted ways after a year of working intimately together.
For some time now I have worked with another lady photographer, Ina, with whom I need have no inhibitions and who knows what should be done in the photos. It’s a very fruitful relationship in a strictly photographic sense. I have tried using other male and female photographers, with little success. With Ina, however, I will continue to collaborate as long as things continue to work as well as they do currently.
For what do I continue to wish? Above all else, for a female playmate that not only looks good, has a beautiful body (particularly, beautiful legs), and is intelligent, but also is open to almost anything.
I am planning additional video projects in addition to more photography. Opportunities and ideas are welcome. And the results will certainly appear on this website!
Enjoy it!